I can’t get to sleep as early last night.

My visions blurred by your existence as I only could see you. You seem to make me feel so focused. It felt so right holding you in my hands as I get to explore every corner of you inside and out. It felt really good and I want you more. You make me miss the whole lot of our time last night that I kept thinking of you even till now. …click here to read more →

Maybe I have not stood on my ground or I had stepped on the wrong foot.

Today isn’t a good day. My face could tell all, people claimed. Maybe in the future I should wear a mask if I happen to have that gut feeling something bad will lead to another.

Home, office, camp, time hasn’t been kind. At least not to me. I feel myself stuck in situations most of the time trying to make a win win situation for everyone at the cost of my own lost. Recently, I have been feeling a tinge of depression starting to overpower my transparent soul.

If I wanted to, I would have followed my emotions and do it but I cared too much. My mistake. I shouldn’t have cared. I shouldn’t even consider in the first place. Survival needs a certain level of wisdom and my emotions jeopardised that struggle. It was indeed a wrong place to stand. Luck isn’t helping either.

Tried is not good enough. Don’t get me wrong. I am not giving up, just merely disturbed. Disoriented with a whole jumble of flaws and trust. I needed to talk to at least someone but I didn’t get a chance to, I didn’t have anyone either. My plan in inviting conversation always fail. I either digress or not tell all or get into a debate on something else. Focus problem? Maybe. But I don’t think it’s major. I still think it’s situation. Circumstances to be exact.

My mind is going to implode sooner or later. As I kept quieter by the minute, I could just fall dead silent.

I should learn how to express again. I’ve lost touch in that. I still miss that space that I need. Noone would care to understand but at least I know I could progress.

Time to self heal…

I need a moment of melancholia.

Somehow the river flow is too strong to swim to the direction of choice. I am that log of wood drifted, awaiting the waterfall before I can see peace.

Desperately in need of that moment of space. Do not save me. You may drown in my flow of thoughts…

Now my whole body hurts and my back is crying for mercy. I hate RT! It’s a waste of time and energy. RT should be banned, thrown away from the history books and forgotten.

Heck! Why not erase National Service altogether!?

Only a few TV shows had made me head over heels eg. Friends, Heroes and now to add on to my small collection, here comes Chuck.

Chuck aka Charles Bartowski (actor Zachary Levi) is the secret who had downloaded government’s secrets into his brain and along side with Chuck is my new found love, Yvonne Strahovski who played Sarah Walker. …click here to read more →

Left the house at about 3.15pm. Caught in a really bad traffic jam in Woodlands that cost us almost an hour before we can have our passports stamped in JB.

It was the 3rd time Joblek had rolled into Malaysia after 2 trips to Pontian before this.

The road trip was impromptu and very abruptly planned. We only had less than RM3 in our pockets. No reservations, we headed straight into testing our luck with accommodation. Managed to get a room in a hostel, a good drive around town, loads of photos and western food for lunch.

The trip was only a night stay and we left Desaru about …click here to read more →